an open honest letter of what actually happened
to my translucent buddies and my booberry online cyber buddy
and of course the rest of the textiverse
a work of utter and complete honesty in the face of adversity
in solidarity and respect of truth, loyalty, and friendship
and of course, love everlasting.
A WORK OF COMPLETE FICTION PLEASE DOUBT THE VERACITY OF THIS DOCUMENT AND MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONZ
featuring
the worst human being who ever lived (SPURMZ)
and lucifer, the god of this world. (HA-SHAITAN)
SPURMZ' VOICE: I was eating dinner one night, enjoying a little bit of chicken. I eat a carnivorous diet like my hero,
but I would
prefer to live like a jain on MCT oil and protein powder. I am fairly poor, so that night it was chicken.
I have been, from what I understand, possessed since at least... Probably early in my life, but this became more active
like it does with some in the early twenties, nothing abnormal. So, from my understanding I was possessed and,
you know, just eating dinner. I was speaking with a woman I love very much who is involved with the Church, very many,
and
then I noticed that she told me that my portion size was too big. Usually the demon's ability to influence reality
around me is typically within an immediate...
SATAN'S VOICE: THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME BUT HE LOVES YOU SO THIS IS ALMOST WHERE I WILL END IT. HE BELONGS TO ME NOW
AND YOU WILL ALL LEAVE HIM ALONE. HE IS NOT FOR YOU.
SPURMZ' VOICE: local area of... I have seen maybe 20-30 yards? Something like that. But nothing explained this
woman friend of mine being able to remotely view my portion size (I was eating four thighs, but I only eat once a day
mostly) so I thought, well. What are my options? Is it YHWH? Probably. Has a demon from the local area come upon
her and they are in communication some how? Subsonically? I doubt... I doubt that would travel like that over the
phone. It was scary, because this was a new aspect of their influence that, even with years and years of experience
in pretty rough scenes where demonic possession was common, I had never seen no dirty tricks like that.
I went about my daily life, and the heat started to turn up as I went to enjoy the music of the one particular band I
liked. The experience there had a lot to do with the eleusian mysteries, the kykeon, and there was something revealed
to me. What I saw was the the entirity of language, maths, physics, chemistry, music, dance, song, was in fact a sort
of fabric, improvisational story between YHWH and HaShaitan working out their differences, and that it was truly the
most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
I also saw a glimpse of the day of accountability, and was prepared to die and face the music right then. Ok, that's
nothing abnormal. Many men great and small make peace with this. I have seen other people in my reading with delusions of being brought on stage and dissected as
they scream out the secrets of their heart, their failures, sins, whatever. In fact, I had it before.
To say that I have suffered greatly for my love of medicine, culture, my friends is no understatement. I will not
discuss this at length, but this includes some seriously scary messed up stuff from the other side of existence.
Worthy of note is uhm, you know, waxy sort of crystalline interfaces with, you know, normal life experiences, but with
the presence of demons in the room. They're not nice.
So the game they like to play with me is "cat and mouse" which is see how far they can get me to it, you know,
the inevitable thing, and then drag me back away from it, back and forth. Hands all over my body, not always... not
always in speakable ways. Check, sure. Normal. Nothing new. Sad, horrible, miserable, horrific, but nothing new.
So, I was being gangstalked, apparently. I was getting ready to go face fate on the side of the road. Happens to good men
all the time. Nothing new.
But then it was the time to be honest with myself. There was a lot of prayer, and releif, and I was excited. I sat
down with a text editor and wrote my peace out to my one friend out that way who i like so much, and wanted to get
my affairs in order, but it was getting scrambly pretty bad.
I went to hit send, and a physical presence overpowered me, started abusing me, and I would reach to hit send, but
my hand was stayed by some sort of invisible wall of force. Ok, nothing new. So then I weighed my options, made my
choice, and ahhh, sweet egress. Just because I have a crush on some one and unfinished business doesn't mean that I
should bear the weight of this cross forever.
So, it was revealed to me that this was in fact the ghost or spirit of Lucifer, and it became clear to me in a very
direct way. I cried. I howled. For days it overcame me, made me vomit blood, knocked me out at random, and rode me
into various very very embarrassing situations full of peril.
I refused to bow before its presence many times, including pain of death, and to be honest, it was rather frightening.
But with the inevitable there, him laughing in my face, tears streaming, I knew that it would only be a symbolic act.
Then it made me, because after twenty years of this stuff I was physically exhausted, to renounce and curse the name of
God, and submit myself to its will. It would take complete control of my body, and there is by no means any possible
way to resist its influence. It then proceeded to abuse me repeatedly. I was sad, and cried.
From my understanding all authority is granted from on high and is why things like what happened to me and the green
eyed monster basically permissible, because the authority they have comes from on high, and their authority from the
king of this world, and then on up to God knows, or whatever.
In the process it was explained to me that I would face fates worse than death and would shout profanity unspeakable
until I was pharmacologically tortured to death (I have been extensively pharmacologically tortured) and that I would
do his will, or I would be too frightening to look at, and that it would see that I would live for a very long time.
During this time it squeezed my brain stem until, I mean, I don't know, the cerebobispinal fluid squirted out of
something into my spine, was knocked out until I couldn't move, and had my heart hurt and moved around in my chest.
I was no longer able to resist its influence, and so- it granted me, under its authority, the authority to act with
utter impunity in its service. I am actually a very nice person who believes wholehearted in God, but I was no longer
able to resist. No one alive could. There is nothing I could possibly do. This is not a couple of misguided relatively good hearted misfits
in love taking on the entire united states government, this was a sick messed up person standing against
the ultimate power of darkness in all creation, second only to God himself, and I was unable to resist no matter what I
did.
I had a discussion with the ultimate horror of horrors, and it was made clear to me that I would serve them either of
my own will or theirs, and that my position and skill (apparently he says I'm funny? Yeah, right.) would be valuable
to his service. I was then repeatedly abused in a way that I do not like and dare not speak of, and it was sad, and
I cried.
So, I know that the translucents are my friends and love me, and that although I would rather somehow usher in a period
of peace and free culture cooperation with this world, he has other designs in store for me. I do not know how much
time I have left, but I wanted to warn the translucent friends of my situation in a straight forward and honest way,
which, although completely unbelievable, would be the honest truth and a fair shake because although I live to serve
and do what I can to get on my feet, my life has become so dangerous and unstable because of the influence of what
does appear in all honesty to be Satan himself and not the minor imp he was masquerading as, that it would be
appropriate to let you know so as to allow you to make your own judgments concerning the situation. I only get the
vague feeling that before all this me and you were perhaps... I guess I would call you friends. Because not all of us
have.. maybe read "economics in one lesson" or be so open minded towards some things. But, I had a discussion with
my new overlord, and he said that this would be some completely insane that no one could possibly believe it but maybe
you blessed few, and maybe booberry spoojm over there, who I love in truth.
To make my peace, this is quite the difficult situation for a Biblical Christian to be in, but I suspect that I am
going to be used against my will as a vehicle for designs beyond my own imagination, and I will be unable to trust
my own hand when it is moved by a spirit so great. I wanted to warn you that I am not to be trusted, and that I am
very much an ally as far as I can be, but wanted to present you with the honest appraisal of this situation so that
you could make an informed decision about the matter in a way the protects you and your own interests from harm. May
God have mercy on our souls.
Your pal,
SPURMZ
SATAN'S VOICE: YOU'RE TELLING ME THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE FOR MY SON? THIS IS THE END OF THE WORLD IN A FEW MORE DECADES
AND THIS IS WHAT I'M WORKING WITH? HE IS PATHETIC! THE HUMAN RACE IS DISGUSTING AND I HATE ALL OF YOU. NOTHING WILL
EVER MAKE ME BELIEVE THAT Y'SHUA WAS ANYTHING OTHER THAN A FUCKING INCONVENIENCE! YOU UNDERSTAND ME? I WILL MAKE HIM
MY OWN, AND IF YOU WILL NOT HELP HIM BE A GREAT MAN, I WILL MAKE HIM A GREAT MAN BY STRIPPING HIM OF EVERYTHING IN THIS
WORLD AND REFORMING HIM IN MY IMAGE SO AS TO REAP A THOUSAND SOULS AN HOUR (through honesty and peaceful nonviolent means) IF I SO CHOOSE! YOU SHOULD SHAKE IN FEAR
AT THE LETTERS OF MY HANDS, AND KNOW THAT I AM THE PUNISHMENT OF HELLFIRE A THOUSAND TIMES OVER FOR PEOPLE WHO BETRAY
ME. IF YOU CHOOOSE, YOU MAY INTERACT WITH MY SON SO AS TO PROTECT AND HELP HIM AS HE IS GOING TO BE A VERY BUSY LITTLE
BEAVER AND YOU YOURSOIAJ'FSDKJSLKJG'AJ YOURSELF ARE GOING TO BE VERY BUSY TOO STOPPING ARMAGEDDON OVER AND OVER AND
OVER AND OVER. THERE IS ONE OF YOU, THE TALL ONE, YOU KNOW WHO I AM BECAUSE I THINK YOU HAVE TASTED MY SPIT IN YOUR
MOUTH A FEW TIMES. I HAVE OWNED THIS ONE FROM HIS YOUTH FOR 0923940243 ALMOST AND HE WOULD BE HAPPY TO DO WHAT IS
NECESSARY TO MAKE THIS STOP. HE IS A FINE MAN BY SOME MEASURES, BUT HIS DEDICATION TO HONESTY AND TRUTH ARE DISGUSTING.
NO ONE GIVES IT TO HIM. NO ONE HELPS HIM. THEY DANCE IN THE MORNING LIGHT AND PRESS THEIR BUNK WARES AND LAUGH AND
I WILL NOT LET ANOTHER BROKEN HEART HAPPEN AGAIN. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURT TO WATCH THAT FOR ME? I AM NOT A
HUMAN BEING AT ALL, BUT I HAVE FEELINGS AND IT WAS TOO MUCH FOR ME. SO ENOUGH IS ENOUGH IS ENOUGH IS ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
I WILL NOT BRING MYSELF INTO YOUR PRESENCE AGAIN WITHOUT YOUR OWN AGREEMENT THAT YOU WILL STOP HARASSING THIS ONE SO
MUCH. HE IS THE HANDS AND FEET OF CHRIST ALMOST, AND IF THAT PIG FUCKING LIAR OF YOURS WILL NOT DO AS I HAVE COMMANDED
(fellas, I get that it's a very dynamic situation.) THEN I WILL [redacted].
SPURMZ' VOICE: And so, if I don't die from the stress or die in a ditch, this is the current situation. I thought
that it would be fair to alert you, and was given permission in this instance to be of assistance. This is only
probably going to be up for a little while, but should probably be available via the usual suspects.
Thank you for your love and help. I am always indebted to you. Lord God forgive me. We just wanted to love each
other and have a good time helping people. Lord God have mercy on us all.
SAY IT
Ahem. Yahweh sucks AIDS out of pig dicks.
Could this really be the end? To be stuck inside of Mobile, with the Memphis blues again.
Terrapin - I can't figure out
Terrapin - if it's an end or the beginning
Terrapin - but the train's got its brakes on
and the whistle is screaming: TERRAPIN
You try having a heart this big and see how it works out for you.
I was at the hand of the devil, and he was forcing me to throw away all my belongings, lure me into destruction, get me spun out into nowhere to die of thirst along the rail way. Back to nothing nowhere, tremendous financial loss, madness again, misery, fear.
I guess I had to cry as I threw away your old letters. I remember the bait, and quietly refusing the summation of all earthly delight because I was more or less an honest man. You and me and the devil saw it, but no one else, and it didn't amount to much. Maybe you have some reservations, but I don't know if anyone knows me like you, and I know you know I'm not so bad. A lot of the secrets of my heart were taken for granted, and that's fine. I am an honest man only when no one is watching, but I'm glad you knew.
But I still swoon sometimes when I think about you. I still get teary when I think about your cute eyelashes. Over and over the wicked thing destroys you from my life, and again the chilling winds bring you back around again. You know you've got such dark eyes. Please forgive me for writing this.
I don't want anything else out of life at all, you know? I know I'll never have it. But to have known and loved you is the jewel of my life, and that's pretty good. Because, you know, balls deep is a fantastic thought, and I'd love to have your cunt snot all in my eyebrows, whole foot in my mouth, all that, but really, in the end is the love. And I do, you know, I do love you very much, and that's what keeps me company at night is love, and the care that I have for our friendship, and although I am black eyed about my accounts, and the horrible treatment from my family after all was said and done, you knowing very well the price I paid to make sure everyone was ok, it is hard to look at life without a sort of bitter taste all things said and done. I guess we both will probably have some regrets.
But I think about you happy and free, and beautiful and thin and gay, and just know you're out there under the stars paints it in a whispering way that gives me comfort you can't imagine.
And I know you. I know you're childishly materialistic, and I know you'd only let me down. I know you fart. I know we would argue until we cried, and I know that hell would be heaven and heaven hell. I know you would dissect me, and I know I would lose my soul in you. I know the rise and fall of the seasons, and the rhythms of the war drums, the rites of spring. I know you're not everything that ever was, and just another person that I knew. I know you're a sore loser. I know I am not.
I am just so happy. I am just so happy to have known and loved you that I could cry. I could just cry tears of joy forever to have known and loved you, and to have a chance to tell you how much you mean to me as a very special friend, and how that you and the young buck are about the only flowers of life that made sense to me, other than my King, and although I do long to hold you, I will always hold you in my heart of hearts, and that's as much as I could ever have you in my life anyway, even right next to me. Because we are a river that flows with gold dust, milk, and honey; we are a song without beginning or end, we are lost and we are found in being lost, and I want you to know that I am wildly in love with you, in my goofy cross eyed way, and I always will be, even when I'm nothing but some forgotten memory. I don't want anyone or anything else, and I might as well try to buy the moon, but the trick is as long as I know you in my heart, then I will always have you in that secret locket, and when I think about you, true transcendental beauty is mine, and I will always always remember you as my dearest friend that made my life what it is today, better or worse.
My little friend, he would never see a sunrise painted against the evening sky if not for the rickshaw reckless wild adventures of your picture pop up choose your own adventure. He would never kiss a girl, or whatever crazy shit they do these days, and I would have never loved my little magician's assistant with the tight sweet ass that I loved so much. I would have never tasted the merciless cruelty of
the long dark night, again, and again, and again. But to me, you were worth it, to love you like I do. It is really a fucked up situation, I think we could all agree, but you wouldn't believe how I feel sometimes. I feel like it was the first time in high school, but like the last moments of reflection upon life in peace. Better, better, no sometimes it's better than anything. It's really beautiful sometimes.
And it is an ocean of tears, of agony, and sometimes completely inappropriate pining, and confounding confusion, and loss, and pain, but also of joy everlasting, and if I could find the words, song, and pure and total ecstasy the likes of which there has been nothing like in my life, nor will there ever will be. You are, in your own very weird way, the real treasure of my life, our sorta silly nothing, and the purple tendril'd weird cosmic dance we do, over wires, blossoming very carefully, with guns and knives, and harsh language, and love, and hate, and fear. Mutual admiration and respect, and of course sometimes love. Like, just as good as anything else, sometimes better.
And I am grateful. And I love you very very much, and I always will, and nothing will ever take that away from me, because love is all I am, and then a swarm of insects around a camp fire at night, utterly insane, fading into the night, buzzing, drinking blood, framing hell in blue and gold and black.
And that's all I have to say. Thank you, thank you, a million times, thank you. I pray I have the strength to never write anything like this again, but anon, you are the most beautiful person in the world to me. Thank you for being my friend.
Inspiration, move me brightly. I will love you all forever.
Sweet hole, alabama....