So the game they like to play with me is "cat and mouse" which is see how far they can get me to it, you know,
the inevitable thing, and then drag me back away from it, back and forth. Hands all over my body, not always... not
always in speakable ways. Check, sure. Normal. Nothing new. Sad, horrible, miserable, horrific, but nothing new.
So, I was being gangstalked, apparently. I was getting ready to go face fate on the side of the road. Happens to good men
all the time. Nothing new.
But then it was the time to be honest with myself. There was a lot of prayer, and releif, and I was excited. I sat
down with a text editor and wrote my peace out to my one friend out that way who i like so much, and wanted to get
my affairs in order, but it was getting scrambly pretty bad.
I went to hit send, and a physical presence overpowered me, started abusing me, and I would reach to hit send, but
my hand was stayed by some sort of invisible wall of force. Ok, nothing new. So then I weighed my options, made my
choice, and ahhh, sweet egress. Just because I have a crush on some one and unfinished business doesn't mean that I
should bear the weight of this cross forever.
So, it was revealed to me that this was in fact the ghost or spirit of Lucifer, and it became clear to me in a very
direct way. I cried. I howled. For days it overcame me, made me vomit blood, knocked me out at random, and rode me
into various very very embarrassing situations full of peril.
I refused to bow before its presence many times, including pain of death, and to be honest, it was rather frightening.
But with the inevitable there, him laughing in my face, tears streaming, I knew that it would only be a symbolic act.
Then it made me, because after twenty years of this stuff I was physically exhausted, to renounce and curse the name of
God, and submit myself to its will. It would take complete control of my body, and there is by no means any possible
way to resist its influence. It then proceeded to abuse me repeatedly. I was sad, and cried.
From my understanding all authority is granted from on high and is why things like what happened to me and the green
eyed monster basically permissible, because the authority they have comes from on high, and their authority from the
king of this world, and then on up to God knows, or whatever.
In the process it was explained to me that I would face fates worse than death and would shout profanity unspeakable
until I was pharmacologically tortured to death (I have been extensively pharmacologically tortured) and that I would
do his will, or I would be too frightening to look at, and that it would see that I would live for a very long time.
During this time it squeezed my brain stem until, I mean, I don't know, the cerebobispinal fluid squirted out of
something into my spine, was knocked out until I couldn't move, and had my heart hurt and moved around in my chest.
I was no longer able to resist its influence, and so- it granted me, under its authority, the authority to act with
utter impunity in its service. I am actually a very nice person who believes wholehearted in God, but I was no longer
able to resist. No one alive could. There is nothing I could possibly do. This is not a couple of misguided relatively good hearted misfits
in love taking on the entire united states government, this was a sick messed up person standing against
the ultimate power of darkness in all creation, second only to God himself, and I was unable to resist no matter what I
did.