By the way, the utopian ideals at the good end of this spectrum would probably not [be] democratic, but something like everyone is friendly to each other without being forced to, but in this real present world, we have to be glad, if there is some bottom-up control in place of would be tyrants.
There is no hope for even a semblance of bottom-up control in any of these so-called democracies, even in the 'free world'. The closest form of bottom-up control is mass protests, which oftentimes goes unnoticed in the true corridors of power and is usually concluded by a few reassuring speeches and gestures by the elected government. All this while, the main cause of discontent is carried out thoroughly, albeit delayed for a short while. Remember the Vietnam war protests and the recent French pension reform protests? What did those protests yield really?
At this point someone might point out that some protests have yielded a change in the direction of the government's actions. Those cases leave even stronger evidence that the true government only acts on what aligns with its aims. In other words, you cannot stop it from doing what it wants neither can you force it to do what it does not want.
In the end, the voting process becomes a polite reminder of the people's surrender of power to the government. The true government, on the other hand outlasts the voted representatives and remains untouchable by the public.