>>103
they treated me like shit. and it wasn't just them, everyone else also treated me like I was less than human. fundamentally unlikeable and unworthy of friendly treatment
my mistake was internalising that treatment. it drove me to hate myself, hide myself, and wear a fake (supposedly better) persona. that lead to a bit of toxic perfectionism (see >>18)
but then I gave up on the perfectionism, so I'm back to viewing myself a fundamentally flawed and bad and repulsive