There's too much commitment in music; Bach's music literally reveals (that's a side effect) to me that the world we live in is a suffering. To witness so much beauty is insuperable; when the music ends it feels like you're trading all the jewels of the world for one lump of coal.
Beauty is expensive; I spent days listening to the first movement of Vivaldi's winter, I felt like I was ripping the brain out of a jaguar.
I lived so close to the sun that each day on earth feels like shivers.