[ prog / sol / mona ]

sol


CTL+V: you know you wanna

10 2022-07-11 17:00

I'm depressed as fuck.
I think I took too much Abilify.
I'm tired, but also have to think about stuff and it's driving me nuts.
I feel like I lost it all and I was so high up on good feels recently.
This last stay at the loooney bin really did a number on me. I feel like I discovered an ugly box full of disgusting spiders deep in my heart.
I don't like myself and what I saw anymore.
It's all so fucking shit.

On top of that I have to go back to work into an environment where I won't be knowledable (never touched a coding framework in my old cowboy shop).
My CV looks like shit. Overall I feel embarrassed, low self esteem and out of place.

I think I'll go buy some more booze to ease the pain.

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