All decisions are irrecovable actually. The key is not to fall prey to false identification i.e. seeing Self in what is not Self. Don't worry about samsara. It can be surmounted if you achieve gnosis.
So you don't believe in the manifested universe's transcendent aspects?
Yes. Truth has to be extracted. Mining. Dilution. Wisdom is not communicable. The path needs to be trodden by you alone. Conciousness could be understood as a side-effect of embodiment and generation. Subject/object dichotomy. I don't bother with validation on a personal level.
All that aside, why did you have kids?