my only shot at life. I fucked it up. I don't know how to get out of this. I don't wanna die here. I'm gonna die here.
I should've never been born.
I wish I could go back and murder the people who ruined me. instead of stopping the abuse I internalised it. I got very close to pushing them down the stairs once. I didn't do it. instead went to the toilet and cried
always a useless sissy. I deserved what they did to me. I didn't deserve to live.
also today I cried, which means things are getting worse