I'm already going insane. I think yesterday's social interaction made things worse. it gave me happy moments, contrasted against which my usual life seems much worse.
I want yesterday to happen again. meeting someone, having a fun time, laughing. talking about each other's lives. being able to express oneself. and I want someone I can reach out to regularly for this purpose.
I asked yesterday's person if they'd like to meet again, and they responded "Yaaas"... so I don't think another meeting is happening until they need help with something else.
fair enough, I guess they didn't enjoy spending time with me. to them it was about getting help with stuff. which was the deal.
they said they owe me a favor, I'd like that favor to be hanging out. that's wierd though. they shouldn't be doing me a favor by hanging out with me. that's literally wrong. they should be hanging out with me because they enjoy it too. there's no escape.