>>79
tbf there's one thing I'm relatively determined to do: random CS/math problems.
but deep down I don't think I wanna die. sure, harming and punishing myself feels good, but it's not suicidal. there have been times I've wanted to die, but recently it's been more self-harm than suicide
>>80
I shared it with an asshole asking him to bully me. he did that instead. I don't think my ""friends"" would care to post anything if I shared this place. I don't think I've any friends. they ask me for help with work, that's about it.
yeah I've read some antidepressants increase suicide risk, probably the same reason. but I don't think I've depression, I'm fairly motivated to write random programs. extremely limited set of interests, but not zero interests