I really wish I could care about things. something, anything. I kinda care about money, that's about it.
or care about myself and my well-being. or some hobby. anything. it drives me insane that there's so much to do, but I just don't care about any of it.
things would be better if I caught some lethal illness or died in an accident. there's nothing to life for anyway. I've lost all hope and trust. there's no way things can get better.
I can't imagine myself being happy. happy with what? can't imagine having things that make me happy. what could those things even be. also can't imagine having friends. what would I do with them? how would I feel in their company?
all those things are so alien, they can't happen to me. I got no business being alive. what am I even doing