well I'm back to doing what I was doing before the "hi" incident. loitering all over the place. walking in circles. writing here.
this is my life until May 6th.
after that I'll loiter alone in my apartment. probably try to kill myself. but fail. I'm cursed to fail. I'm cursed to suffer. it's fine I can afford the hospital.
I hope I don't fail. I hope God shows me some fucking mercy. even if I die by accident. just make this end I can't do this