there's literally nothing to fucking do. I keep getting emails about all these activities that my ex-friends would be interested in. but they don't interest me.
high altitude trekking. I wouldn't feel comfortable being among a bunch of strangers. or setting up a tent (I'd get it wrong). but one my friends has done that and they're gonna enjoy it and meet new people.
I think my fear of people has ruined everything. I feel like I don't belong anywhere. this thread is diary of a suicider.
I'm going to die. I'll buy power-tools to shread open arteries and die in a slow bloody mess. it's gonna be great.
also I've started self-harming again, but only punching myself so people don't see any visual complications. everywhere I go I see happy people. I'm not one of them.