got tired of beating myself up. it's too depressing. entered a random empty classroom.
gonna be depressed here.
there was no saving the friendships I lost. it was my fault for ever thinking I could have friendships.
no matter how much people say they're your friend, no matter the utopian promises of being there, accepting you, and liking your company. no matter them making these promises for months on end. it doesn't mean a thing.
you can never feel safe with anyone.
never trust anyone no matter what they say. that's the conclusion. never trust anyone. nobody likes you, you're a ruined, useless human being. nobody will ever like you. if they say otherwise, they're mistaken.
this is my life. it's over. there's no hope. I don't trust hope anymore. I'll probably plot to kill myself over the next three months, when I'm back at my apartment.
I've got nothing to live for. I've enough money to live. but not enough will to live. I got no business being alive