is amusing, but don't take the advice seriously.
A lot depends on if you know any other programming languages. If so, "Practical Common Lisp" at https://gigamonkeys.com/book/ and the Lisp Cookbook at https://lispcookbook.github.io/cl-cookbook/ are great.
If you're learning Lisp as a first language, that should be fine. I haven't read books like this myself, but Touretzky ( https://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/LispBook/ ) is often recommended.
The main thing is to get out of books and into programming some small project you have an interested in as soon as possible. Just make it simple, you're probably going to fail anyway but at least failing a small project doesn't hurt so much. After 2/3 failures, you should be able to complete something.
Best of luck! It's a hobby you can sink as much time as you like in.