Years go by and I realize the mockery most people make of friendship (including myself) and so as sober as one can be: is there any point in planned collaboration?
Many attempts I've made at collaboration. Then the project loses steam, or it loses purpose, or it just dies out. There's conflicting emotions also. Resentment and disappointment froth around the whole ordeal. It's just not enjoyable. Most people I've worked with drag their knuckles (rightfully so if they're trapped in their prison of misery, I understand) and I've dragged mine plenty too, I'm horrible to work with it seems.
Anyway, I'm diving deeper into new programming subjects and just want to hear some perspectives. To emphasize, I don't message anyone. Just these forums. No one to talk to about programming either. Most of my relations are about keeping up pleasantries, I suppose.
So is that the correct path? Just fuck off and do your own thing?
Talking to people is just a distraction... isn't it? I don't know.
I'm about 70% confident that all collaboration is procrastination and helplessness disguised, or something to that effect. Or it's falling in love with the idea of getting something done magically just because you band together (when history clearly shows otherwise).
It's just hard to deal with people and their expectations as well as your own.
The thought of having someone to message brings me a lot of anxiety, frankly. Hate IM/irc.