Alyssa found her way into the back ally of the electric tubes after taking the eww tram.
"W-Where am i-i." Alyssa said visibly shaken. "W-Who are you."
The hooded deranged slavic twink surrounded by flashy forced early 2000s memes spun around on his empty vodka bottle he was slavicly squatting on and faced Alyssa.
"It is i, the great Yuri-sama, heir of Duke Pedo owner of the Heyuri domain" Yuri said triumphantly with an inhuman eldritch grin. "I have taken interest in memes from before 2000 again, the ones my father never knew of."
"You will now be judged by the jurisdiction my lord has given to me by divine rule, your yuri fanfics will determine if you get banned in all my domains and alliances domains for being commoner fodder." This spans the entire internet due to Yuri's imageboard kike handlers.
Yuri called upon Bitdiddle as the first witness. "Bitdiddle of the /prog/domain how many posts are about Alyssa yuri on your site compared to shitposting noise."
"About one a thousand." Said Bitdiddle in a tired tone.
Alyssa was depressed but didn't know why. "You are dismissed." Said Yuri to Bitdiddle.
Next Yuri summoned the fat immortal retard of the abyss as the second witness. "High priest and sovereign of Bel Air what does the deepest inner circle think of lisp yuri fanfics."
The fat immortal retard farted, shidded and came causing the ally to almost get quarantined then cleansing garbage collector janitors came out of the sky to clean up the mess.
"It's bad, the unoriginality could be generated always by a markov chain. You almost killed all my gay amorite lovers with this mouth breather garbage, my nonexistaint wifes are going mad and fucking with my rest again. Call me again for something like this and the clone will replace you." In an incomprehensible but monotone voice of a trillion deranged retards screeching about their mothers running out of small deep fried dinosaur chickens.
In the next instant whatever this retard was stop existing but the aura of the ally was now so bad some of Yuri's comrades were making an escape out of this life.
"Though." Yuri barely crackled out. "My soul is getting split and overridden."
Alyssa was saying the current stereotypical men bad lines of the day in a trance oblivious to this retard not existing.
"Feigning madness will get you held in contempt of the court." Yuri yelled and hit his miniature four clover ban hammer on a wooden pedo bear head. Unable to control a seething murderous rage caused by the inhuman atmosphere.
"I'm calling a lawyer that isn't bigoted." Said a conceded Alyssa, unable to hold back the hidden animus pretentious part of her personality due to the now corrupted reality.
"The court will now go into recess." Yuri said, wanting to sadistically play with the already condemned Alyssa.
Alyssa was being held by Yuri's good Chinese friend in Hades. When this modern tolerate green party freedom fighting hero appeared riding on a gnu with a Thinkpad.
"My good pals at MIT would hate to see you get kicked off the Webblag." Said Richard in a professional as in GNU tone.
Alyssa started crying. She might never see Eva again.
"That would be a good witness." Said Richard having an aneurysm. "Give me her GNUnet identity."
Alyssa in despair gave it out. Almost putting that recent retard to shame in retarded acts.
Yuri pulled Alyssa along with her lawyer out of Hades and resumed the session in the ally.
Richard knew this atmosphere and neutralised it. Yuri was capable of judging with minimal less corruption now.
"Your honour may i call a new GPL5 compatible witness." Richard said in a heroic freedom fighter tone.
"Go ahead." Yuri said while spinning excitedly. One of the most established memes in the technology scene was going to produce some OC right in front of him.
Richard used the GNUUUCPFREE GNUnet transport to summon Eva.
"H-How." Said Eva visible shaken.
"My client needs you to testify for her." Said Richard pointing to Alyssa with a greasy finger.
Eva had a look of disgust for Richard that went away quickly when seeing Alyssa.
"Eva tell us about your yuri events with Alyssa." Said an annoyed Yuri.
Eva was blushing but then snapped out of it. "How is the court legitimate." Eva said with anger. Thinking about how a court would never do a case on lesbian couples.
"Would you prefer lighting striking where i point or a recording of judges being forced to listen to rap." Yuri said trying to not break his limited edition ban hammer.
Eva thought what she heard was the dumbest thing next to the abyss but felt intense pressure for no reason and could hear Alyssa weeping.
"I all of this is censored since i'm a piece of shit with no life that gets sick kicks out of trolling you and not larping as your dead bogeyman you've been describing in detail acting as if you aren't seething beyond the simulation for even more sick kicks." Yuri said trying to hold back tears.
"That was good enough." Yuri said as the supreme authority on yuri unimpressed. "You are dismissed."
"Honour, might you consider only banning lisp yuri in the heyuri domain and clover domain." Richard plead.
"The next witness will decide Alyssa's fate." Yuri said thinking about the appealing plea bargain. He was pissed off at some of the domains.
Yuri did a summoning that disgusted everyone in the ally even Richard.
"CSAM spammer would you spam lisp yuri if it was illegal." Yuri said sweating thinking about CSAM spammer's feats.
"Already spamming it where loli is illegal, nigger cunt." CSAM spammer said while doing a shit and drinking boose.
"Lisp yuri will only be banned at heyuri and clover. Case dismiss-." CSAM spammer then summoned the fat immortal retard genocide edition using Richards corpse that was decaying somehow and Eva's blood.
Alyssa woke up in bed with Eva, Victoria, Cressida and Lola. Sweating like crazy and hyperventilating she noticed the cottage window was open and looked outside to see something incomprehensible.
The stars where fractals of judge Yuri staring into her soul in the form of the fat immortal retard and her lovers faces where hovering over her with breaths she could feel and uncanny valley eyes whispering things in unknown mathematics. Her gut was screaming at her to get away but she could not move.
Alyssa woke up again in bed aching all over. Eva, Victoria, Cressida, and Lola still sleeping with her. She calmed down and thought about how any of this had to do with lisp or anything from her reality. Once she stopped thinking an immaterial voice sounding like a distorted CSAM spammer said. "Communities that get a kick out of acting like retards will eventually be surrounded by retards thinking they are in good company." Alyssa was sent to the hospital from a stroke and Eva, Victoria, Cressida and Lola dressed up as nurses. Taking care of her but they could never heal her paranoia about a grooming Russian.
Richard woke up from this dream. Trying to get a hold of his self thinking he got infected with the mental illness from the clover asylum's g block. He then put together his shattered mind and figured out this was due to dynamic scoping of elisp. Adding lexical scoping in a swift free as in freedom GNU.
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