the Virgin toygramming language:
breaks Virgin's code for each release of the compiler
constantly crashes in unforeseen ways, despite allegedly being much safer
Virgin's attempt to optimize the code make it much uglier
Performance never reached Chad++ levels
wins contrived microbenchmarks where code mimics Chad++ mixed with assembler
Languages infrastructure consists of github repos and few fansites
Abstraction levels so deep its impossible to debug the root cause
Virgin's pride in his accomplishment involves a Phd-level thesis on
implementing an algorithm that Chad++ wrote in a hour without bothering about functional purity.
Constant esoteric type-based contraptions Virgin must struggle with daily
Virgin resorts to importing Chad++ libraries for performance and functionality his language cannot provide
Virgin's ultra-safe language pulls modules and packages straight from github
Virgin's .vimrc is a marvel of software engineering, still far from a IDE
Thinks that eventually people will appreciate his favorite language
tries to argue that Chad++ code will be rewritten easily though never catches up with Chad++ software in all metric
Autistically fixes every issue and complaint, thinks users will appreciate that
Obsessively researches every bug and exploit to ensure his code is safe
Chad++:
Write code and lets the virgins deal with it.
Uses the One True Debugger
pull requests involve a healthy polemic with maintainers
Code is exceptionally fast, despite having no intrinsics
Chad++ code is never obsolete or deprecated, the compiler standards ensure that
Chad++ has never used vi or emacs, only full-featured IDE with autocomplete for everything
respected by the captain of industry, always in demand
Never got RSI, takes regular breaks to think out what he code
Dismisses issues speedily with 'works on my machine', 'cannot reproduce' and 'this is counter to X design'