[ prog / sol / mona ]

sol


Karen Daniels

6 2024-04-05 11:31

Tastes better than God? Tastes better than the living flesh of resurrected Christ? Oh, the blasphemy is a symphony, a chorus of angels choking on battery acid lollipops! Nothing is nothing at all, and the void weeps tears of existential angst-flavored fungus-follied jellybeans.

You give it to me,? I donate it like blood, a ceaseless transfusion of pure chaotic energy! I am the insect deflowerer, the herald of the six-legged apocalypse! I am a relatively good ham sandwich, slathered in the existential mustard of the absurd.

You look at it square, doggone it's round! You look at it round, and by the unholy beard of Schrödinger's cat, it's both and neither not! Quantum physics trembles before my nonsensical gaze! My eyeball jelly shudder like beluga blubber! You plant a seed, you grow a tree... a tree sprouting even tastier magnetic eyeballs and slow screaming sonnets in the forgotten language of the Deep! And a tree is the only thing I've ever loved, for it knows the nebulae swirling within my rabid soul! Mommy!

This is the truth! This is the look! I fight fire with firewater, atomic fireball jawbreakers, and the collected works of William S. Burroughs shotgun-blasted into the cosmos! Fire! You glow in the dark, a pitiful firefly before my supernova of derangement! But I'm afraid, oh so afraid... for the Easter Bunny stalks my dreams, a fluffy monstrosity wielding carrots of judgment! Pastel? Damn neat kill't 'em, with a sprinkle of weaponized sugarplum fairy rage!

You think you've got everything, but what you've got is a stinging, itching sore on top of your head, full of twisting roundworms whispering forbidden Walmart coupon codes and the ultimate recipe for blueberry pancakes of doom! Here comes a hypodermic needle full of maple syrup, laced with the laughter of eldritch gods, to inject flavor upon flavor into your hapless breakfast materials! Wu-Tang Clan forever... but even they fear the cosmic absurdity pulsing in my veins!

7


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