Schemers, unite! Stop your schemy schisms! Scheme is facing its darkest hour. It is being assaulted from all sides. It is up to us to defend the glory of Scheme. The educational establishment is moving away from Scheme. JavaScript has shown its hostility towards Scheme by encroaching upon Scheme's traditional turf. The JavaScripters are now openly challenging Scheme with the release of the despicable JSCIP "textbook" which they are relying on to dump Scheme into the dustbin of history. We have no room for fake "Scheme" implementations that give a bad name to the genuine implementations. The peddlers of fake "Scheme" implementations are the enemies of Scheme!