So I have a friend, Alok, who can be best described as an NPC. He is just living his life, one bad decision at a time. There are legends surrounding him- about the totally stupid stuff he does at times- that are passed down from one batch of students to the next, almost as a tradition.
This guy, Alok once got hooked on to Paracetamol (yeah, that anti-pyretic you use when you have a fever), that too when we were 15. He once poked a pen in his right eye because he "forgot to put it down before rubbing his eyes." My man Alok once spent an entire day mimicking as our Physics teacher. He also used to get all sorts of weird ailments at all sorts of weird times, like a cold/cough during midsummer and a heat stroke in December. Alok's handwriting was a piece of art, undecipherable by even the most accomplished crackers.
He was a fair soccer player, not good enough to make it to the team, but still better than me (which in itself isn't a big thing to be proud of), and he once ran all the way across the field- cutting cross all the midfielders and defenders...to his own goal post. Without the ball. And crashed straight into it. Probably broke his glasses or something, and definitely spilled a few drops of blood.
Once, back in 10th grade, we had to submit all of our assignments by a certain Friday, and school being school, informed us about this on the Thursday before. Now I was almost done with my stuff and homework and assignments, so it wasn't a big deal for me, but Alok here- man he was shidding bricks. Apparently he hadn't started any of his work, and only had one evening and a night to finish all of it. Mammoth task, but doable. "I mean come on," Alok told us, "we are young men, surely we can pull out an all nighter and finish the task, right?"
"Right." I replied. "In theory. What's actually gonna happen is that you'll pass out at eleven and wouldn't be able to even half of the work." Did I say I enjoyed seeing students in distress?
"That isn't a problem." Alok grinned. I knew there was going to be a problem. And there was.
Alok, in hopes of staying up, drank five cups of strong coffee at once. What was he thinking is beyond me, but he did get a lot of energy from that stuff, enough to power him through the night. Only problem was, we had grossly overestimated the work load. The assignments were done by 2 in the morning, Alok told me the next day, but because of the "Coffee OD" he couldn't go to sleep the entire rest of the night, and had to spend the next 4 hours teary eyed, miserable and hard, jerking off to rather artistically drawn sexually provocative illustrations of Japanese women.
Worst thing? When he came to school the next morning, drowsy and depressed, he realized he had left the assignments at home.
So this guy was a Kevin