Dear Mr. Billg,
I URGENTLY REQUIRE YOUR ASSISTANCE.
I am greeting you with all sincereness! I got your email name surfing the internet, i do not know you, but hope a meet a friend and brother. For the beneficence your kind attention, Mr. Billg sir, I must apologize for jumping into your private email address, i am very sorry indeed. There was no other way of passing this information out to solicit your interest and help.
I am MR. DARL McBRIDE of the company SCO/Caldera in the North American state of UTAH. I am writing to you because with you help i am hoping to justfully claim monies amounting to US $3,000,000,000 (three thousand million dollars) that is denied me and my company SCO/Caldera wrongfully by miscreants and EVILDOERS of the worst order. I think you too may be able to do yourself a bit of good along the way. I supply the details hereinunder and withal.
Let me exchange with you the history of the matter. About ten years ago my company SCO/Caldera known then as SCO obtained a valuable JEWL. Nor am i speaking of an ordinary “DIAMOND” or “RUBY” that is to be dug out of the ground. No this is a much valued figure-of-speech JEWL made by the great MOTHER BELL to govern the running of computer machines this JEWL was called THE UNIX.
As a man of the world, Mr. Billg sir, you will know that no computer machine can be properly goverened without THE UNIX. It is thusly that my company SCO/Caldera justifably owns all the intellectual selling rights of THE UNIX from the North American state of UTAH to the London Borough of HACKNEY-on-the-Marshes. And now we have many people these days is enjoying the use of computer machines, what with the upcoming of THE INTERENET and WEB. But hardly nobody is paying my company SCO/Caldera no monies. There is a lady in the North American state of FLORIDA who uses THE SCO XENIX to keep the bookings for her motel who is upgrading every year. But she is paying only US $139.99 a pop (one hundred and thirty nine dollars ninety-nine cents) which does not go very far these days, and besides she won’t see sixty-five again If You Know What i Mean.
Now why only does Mrs. Kimble purchase the license from my company SCO/Caldera? I do investigate it and i discover that some idle and felonious programmers have made a THE UNIX on their own which they are herinafter calling THE LINUX. And it turns out that these persons are putting this away for nothing on THE INTERENET and WEB, and folks are utilising THE LINUX to govern there computer machines when they ought to be using THE UNIX that is owned by my company SCO/Caldera. Next i figure, how come this THE LINUX works as good as THE UNIX. Then it comes to me. This THE LINUX must containered some bits that are copied right off THE UNIX. THE LINUX people steals our JEWL. And i am talking to the wife’s cousin Josh who is an expert with computer machines and he says it is all down to SOURCES. Josh gets SOURCES for THE LINUX off THE INTERENET (although this is a waste of time, as it turns out that my company SCO/Caldera sells THE LINUX too) and we looks at them, and it turns out there are an awful lot of SOURCES. But Josh is good lad sticks with it, and he finds this file “STDI.OH” in THE LINUX and it turns out there is also a file “STDI.OH” in THE UNIX which is pretty much the same ball of cheese. This is the PROOF i have, although Josh is good lad still looking for more SOURCES.
Then i think who is my company SCO/Caldera to sue? All these idle and felonious programmers making THE LINUX and giving it away, they have no monies so no good to sue them. My company SCO/Caldera is selling THE LINUX, but we are not allowed to sue ourselves BY LAW, besides we only have Mrs. Kimble’s license monies. So i decide to sue INTERNATIONAL BIG-BLUE MACHINES (IBM) which didn’t make THE LINUX and doesn’t sell THE LINUX but have got many shedloads of the folding stuff i hear. But Mrs. Kimble’s US $139.99 (one hundred and thirty nine dollars ninety-nine cents) does not go far with Attorney. That is where you coming in, Mr. Billg sir. If it touches your mind you could purchase and own a license of your own to our JEWL which is THE UNIX, then my company SCO/Caldera could use the monies in pursuant of our justiful claim, and when we win, we would be very careful to look after our special good friends If You Know What i Mean. Also, perhaps you have a motel of your own that wants a booking system.
Email me the soonest for a price, i can make good terms for special good friends like you. I trust that you will reply to this cause with the maxium urgentness
Your loving brother
DARL McBRIDE (MR.)